For me, when I was younger, my exodus led me to an absolutely fabulous love life with sweet, young, beautiful Third World women. The nubile maidens I met along the way were of a far superior quality to any girls I could have attracted back home.
YOU CAN BREAK FREE!
Some ideas that we have grown up with are simply wrong. You can choose your own destiny and break out of a drab existence in a dull place. You can get out of any unhappy relationship. There is no reason you can’t move away physically from where you are, to a place that offers what you want.
Your paradise does exist out there somewhere. And there’s a lot of pleasure on the journey. There are perfect waves for surfing, perfect powder for skiing, even perfectly legal Marijuana ‘coffee’ shops (try the Netherlands or Katmandu) where you can stay stoned if that is your thing.
With effort and knowledge of your options you can normally find lucrative work that matches your interest or favorite hobbies. Need help? You will find new ideas for Portable Trades.
WHY MARRIAGE IS ALMOST ALWAYS A BAD IDEA
Marriage is always a very bad idea for men and smart/rich women as well!. “Marriage” does you no material good and merely gets the “State” in bed with you.
”Marriage” imposes all kinds of legal obligations, duties, and liens upon your property that are easily avoided by not marrying and just living together if you just need company 24/7.
If your woman needs to feel “financially secure” for giving you “the best years of her life” this is easily accomplished with cash gifts, setting up a trust, buying her a property for her to move to if you break up, etc.
But marriage? Never!
A marriage without the “piece of paper” is superior in every way to the formality of marriage and all the legal baggage that comes with it. A messy divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a man.
Pre-nuptial agreements are generally ignored by judges. The wife’s lawyers will have any such agreement nullified as “unfair.” They are always “unfair” if the wife gets less in a pre-nup-agreed separation than the maximum she would get in a hostile divorce proceeding.
Normally, she gets the kids, the house, the car, 1⁄2 your business, 1⁄2 your assets, and enough of your cash flow to keep it all going. In the USA anyway, she gets it tax free and you pay the income tax on what you give her. Is that fair?
Failing to pay a court-ordered settlement or alimony/support for the rest of your life will land you in jail for civil contempt until you comply. Your “marital property,” which is likely almost everything you own, can and will be deeded away from you by a judge.
Without marriage, if and when the woman becomes an unbearable pain in the arse, you can just change the locks on your apartment, and move her stuff out — if she can’t or won’t do it herself. That’s it!
As a general rule, it is a good idea to move her stuff as far away as possible, preferably to the other side of the world.
Provide enough survival money for a year’s worth of her living expenses if she stays far away from you on a drip-feed basis so she isn’t too mad at you.
A sensible woman won’t do anything to jeopardize her income. After a year or so, her thoughts of revenge will have subsided, and she will be weaned. She will have either found a job or hopefully get another jerk to marry and support her.
Even the best strategy doesn’t always work. Maybe she is so mad at you for “cheating” or otherwise, that she will try to “get even” for real or imaginary wrongs by inflicting maximum pain. Anyway you can’t always keep them calm and sensible after the break-up, no matter what nice things you do and however generous you may be.
Remember this, any damage an ex-girlfriend or mistress can do, is NOTHING compared to what a “spurned wife” can do to you, especially once she hires a man-hating, man-eating, super tough, lesbian lawyer on a contingent fee.
I have always felt that if I take a poor girl out of her crappy job, give her intelligent loving companionship and the great sex she craved, I should be thanked an appreciated for it.
Besides all that fuzzy stuff, suppose I greatly elevated her social and financial status, for as long as we were married and living together. Shouldn’t she then “owe me” if we ever break up?
Shouldn’t she pay me back? What for?
At least for the free rent, travel, and all the other goodies I provided, that’s what for! After all, what did I get? In the last part of the relationship anyway, only bad sex and aggravation!
Of course, she should pay! Yet, there isn’t a judge in the English-speaking world who sees it that way. Their irrational view is that an ex-wife should get a court award to enjoy the same standard of living that was provided by the spouse during marriage.
Bottom line? Marriage is only for very stupid people.
Zero advantage! And a final discordant note: As long as your ex-spouse gets good dependable, court- ordered alimony, she won’t be looking for another sucker to marry and replace you. So you may
well end up supporting her and her newest toy-boy…forever.
The above rant was inspired by this recent news article, which in my opinion, misses the most important point of all!
Top Five Right (and Wrong) Reasons to Get Married
Too many people wed for the wrong reasons, which may explain why so many marriages fall apart despite the best efforts of those involved.
Three marital experts give the top five right reasons and top five wrong reasons to get married.
WRONG REASON NUMBER 1: Sexual attraction – It won’t last forever.
“Too many people confuse sexual attraction with love and this can lead to a short-lived marriage,” explained Michele Weiner Davis, a Colorado-based therapist and author of The Sex-Starved Marriage and The Sex-Starved Wife. “The novelty of being with someone will turn on anyone,” she says.
When the sexual attraction wanes, if there’s no mutual trust and a joint view of the future, the marriage fades as well. Her advice is clear: sexual attraction between two people is a good thing and energizes the marriage. Yet if the foundation isn’t based on strong communication and shared values, the chances of a long-lasting marriage based solely on animal attraction aren’t good.
RIGHT REASON NUMBER 1: Working out differences.
Research indicates that one common theme among long-lasting marriages involves an ability to work out conflict. “All relationships have conflicts,” Davis says.
The couples that can talk out their differences, surmount the conflict, and agree on a compromise will last. The partners that trigger anger and resentment in one another or are unable to talk about their differences often can’t sustain marriage.
WRONG REASON NUMBER2: Escaping the family.
Many single people feel stuck living at home. When a potential mate appears, they often leap at the opportunity to extricate themselves from their parents’ home and get engaged.
Often it doesn’t matter to them if their potential mate is a good match because of their need to separate from their parents.
“There are many ways to escape a family. Making a lifelong commitment with someone who isn’t a worthy partner isn’t the best choice,” Davis notes.
RIGHT REASON NUMBER 2: Sharing common interests.
If married couples share common interests, it engenders closeness and mutual experiences.
Experts say that couples don’t have to share all common interests, but having enough of them encourages spending time together, a key ingredient to a successful marriage.
Those commonalities can be as varied as spending time with their children, loving travel, following sports, as long as they both appreciate something together, Davis says.
WRONG REASON NUMBER 3: The infatuation syndrome.
Too many people confuse infatuation with love, suggests Barbara Bartlein, author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Overcoming the Myths that Hinder a Happy Marriage.
Infatuation is defined as a fleeting feeling for someone, whereas love is long lasting and is based on trust and commitment. “Infatuation is instantaneous and some experts suggest can be hormonal,” Bartlein states. Love has patience whereas infatuation has a sense of urgency and often that urgency fades.
When marriages are based on infatuation, “When the zing is gone, they assume they married the wrong person and go looking again,” she adds.
RIGHT REASON NUMBER 3: Focus on what you need.
“Too many people get married for what they want instead of what they need,” Bartlein says.
For example, Bartlein herself reads many novels and would love to discuss fiction with her husband,
except this genre doesn’t interest him.
Nonetheless, they have a solid marriage because she needs someone who is reliable, trustworthy, works hard. Marrying someone who meets her needs has enabled this marriage to last.
WRONG REASON NUMBER 4: Ignoring the signs of trouble.
If your mate easily gets angry with you and frequently loses control, it can be a telltale sign that problems in the marriage are right around the corner.
But many people ignore the signs. “They see signs of troubled behaviour but think it will get better when they get married.”
Often if irascible or abusive behavior occurs in the engagement period, it will only get worse after marriage, unless the person is in counseling or therapy.
“Some people think they will fix it after they get married. The truth is that anything that is mildly annoying will be unbearable after you say ‘I do.”’
RIGHT REASON NUMBER 4: Talk about the future
“Talking about a couple’s expectations of the future is one of the surest ways of making sure you’re both on the same page and share common values that can sustain a marriage,” Davis says.
Many couples don’t talk about whether they want to have kids, where they’re going to live, whether they’ll be a one or two career household.
“Some people think things will work out magically when they get married, but that won’t happen,” she notes. The more you discuss your common visions for the future, the greater the chances the marriage will last.
WRONG REASON NUMBER 5: Keeping your blinders on.
When falling in love, too many people get blinded and don’t really get to know their mate, asserts Terri Orbuch, director of the Early Years of Marriage Project at the University of Michigan.
What really keeps people together is “their friendship, intimacy and support,” Orbuch says. If you ask yourself, “If I lost my job or had a medical scare, who would I go to for support,” the answer might reveal the real love of your life.
RIGHT REASON NUMBER 5: Making your partner feel special.
One factor in successful marriages is making your partner feel special and worthy, particularly men. Because the friendships men establish often don’t have the depth of women’s relationships, men depend more on their spouse to feel special.
When women say “I love you, you make my life exciting”, or make their mate their favorite dessert, it goes a long way to affirming their mate and contributing to a happy marriage, she says.
GRANDPA CHATS WITH A LADY READER ABOUT WHY MARRIAGE IS A BAD IDEA
It is clear by your comments that you are cynical regarding marriage. I can understand that attitude based on your relationship history as laid out (pun intended) in the BBBB books. From the female viewpoint though, I can say from personal experience that not all men/husbands are angels either. I happened to marry a member of the Scilian Mafia – an unhappy fact that I discovered only after we were married. He treated me and the children like his possessions and stalked us when I left him after seven miserable years of abuse. With his threats against our lives, we were lucky to escape without serious harm. I thank God that he is now dead. But I learned my lesson.
However, I have been happily “married” to a wonderful man for 23 years going on forever. We never applied for an official marriage license at the county courthouse, but were married by a minister friend of ours who signed a simple, informal marriage certificate. Thus, in the eyes of the State we are not really married. Anytime a person registers anything such as an automobile, birth, marriage, or business, that entity comes under the control of the State. They, the State, can then do anything they damn well please with that registered entity. And, money grubbing attorneys can benefit from the situation. So, I agree with your advice to never get married formally.
Maybe someday your heart will heal from the pain inflicted by the she-devils you were married to.
Your Friend Mrs X.
I am surprised that a woman would agree with me.
In my anti-marriage comments, I said that a”legal marriage” was also a bad idea for a woman – especially if she was a woman of property or a professional with a good income. You agreed, although for different reasons. You just wanted a quick way out in case things went wrong for you the “second time around.”
Your Mafia ex-first-husband would have probably treated you just as badly – married or not – but at least if you had lived together a while, unmarried, and had agreed it was on a trial basis —then, maybe you could have negotiated for your release, and escaped earlier. But a jealous partner is always a royal pain in the butt.
As for me, I am emotionally recovered from all the bad experiences with ex-girlfriends and wives — long ago. Today, I always would advise my own kids (boys or girls), my friends, and certainly my clients never to rush into a marriage. I would say 30-40 years of living together on a trial basis, like Jack Benny did, is about right. After 30 years and a few kids, the piece of paper is probably so unimportant that it is no longer an issue.
Thanks a lot for your informative “true confessions”
THE PT DIVORCE: A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY?
Here’s an interesting topic discussed way back in 1971, from Time Magazine.
Thanks to our friends at vipdivorce.com.
You can get a one-day divorce in the Dominican Republic. More interesting is the story behind it. Offshore quickie divorces became a big business in Mexico in the 1960s, but under pressure to “clean up” in 1971 Mexico banned divorces for non-residents. This story is of Manuel Espinosa, a Mexican “divorce mill” lawyer who resourcefully moved his base to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, where he promptly persuaded the President to pass a law – just for him – allowing quickie divorces there. Neighboring Haiti passed similar laws at the same time. But the DR has a more pleasant ambiance than Haiti.
Espinosa achieved getting laws passed just for him, by hiring a number of Dominican legislators onto the salaried staff his law firm.
This is a perfect example of someone smart who might have read the chapter in Invisible Investor called “How to Win Friends and Influence People in Small Corrupt Countries.”
Exactly the same kind of thing can be done today. It’s not difficult to be a big fish in a small pond. Best of all it’s the perfect PT business – Use diplomacy for your own profit!
If anybody has any interest in this and has an abundance of capital we’re talking at least a million dollars we know of a couple of countries that are very much open for business in terms of letting you write your own laws allowing any activity you want to be based in their country. There are any number of businesses you could run. You can get an introduction from us, but please be prepared to meet in person, pay Grandpa’s consulting fee and demonstrate that you are serious. Our most successful client got himself a legal offshore internet gambling base. Contact Grandpa [email protected] initially.
Here’s the original article (excerpt) from Time Magazine about Dominican Divorces:
“The eight Americans were greeted at Santo Domingo’s Las Americas Airport by a smiling host who guided them effortlessly through customs and on to the posh El Embajador Hotel for cocktails and a sumptuous dinner. Next morning the visitors were shuttled to the country’s thriving new tourist attraction: The Palace of Justice. By noontime, they were divorced from their spouses back home.
The cost: about $500 in legal expenses, plus airfare and the price of an overnight stay.
Since the liberalized divorce law went into effect in the Dominican Republic in the first three months alone over 250 Americans have participated in the brisk ritual. Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley’s daughter are just two of hundreds of celebrities who got quickie divorces there. If you need an uncontested fast divorce, it’s the place to go.
Post your comments, thoughts, related personal experiences, corrections or questions below.